Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Review for "I Am Legend"

I am a sucker for an action movie. I mean, I REALLY like action movies. Every guy likes action movies. “Live Free or Die Hard,” “Transformers,” and “300” were all huge hits this summer, not to mention “The Bourne Ultimatum.” All four of those movies, by the way, made it into my top 15 of the year. But my love of action movies goes even deeper than the average American male. (Somewhere some snooty French dude is sipping a vanilla laced, watered down coffee and making a witty remark about how ridiculous American’s are.) I really liked “Shooter,” a movie that at best elicited a halfhearted “Eh” from most movie critics. I am the only person in the world who thought “Ghost Rider” wasn’t that bad, including Nicholas Cage who apparently wept during the screening of this film. I own a copy of “The Island;” and I actually do not regret purchasing it. Basically, if it has a half interesting plot, some explosions and/or firefighting, and actors who can sort of make me believe they are in fact paid, professional actors, I will probably enjoy it on some level.

Seldom, however, do I see a true, certifiable action movie that is worthy of not only a four star review, (or five star, depending on your rating system, mine is four) but also award nomination. Very rarely has an action film come along that is riveting in its drama and its character development in addition to the obligatory action sequences. “I Am Legend” is that film.

The story, based on a Richard Matheson novella of the same title, has been modernized and set in New York City, circa 2012. A virus that initiated as a cure for cancer has mutated and turned the world’s population (those who lived through the outbreak) into a species of cave dwelling zombies. Matheson’s work portrayed the creatures as vampires but the film stops short of this declaration, though they exhibit classic vampire like characteristics. Dr. Robert Neville (Will Smith), at one time the world’s best hope for survival, is, for all intents and purposes, the last man on earth. He is isolated on Manhattan Island with only his dog and the infected for company. Neville spends his days hunting deer in the streets, alphabetically working his way through every DVD in the electronic store, and meticulously searching for a cure for the virus. At night, however, he locks metal shutters on every door and window and hunkers down with Sam (the dog) as the infected roam the night.

As Neville comes closer and closer to a cure, he also comes closer and closer to the edge. He experiences breaks from reality and flashes back to memories of the night his family died while trying to flee the island. He is driven to the point of breaking by his desire, his need to cure the virus. During an uncharacteristic moment of sloppiness he comes within an inch of his life at the hands of the infected, and loses his companion in the process. The loss nearly pushes him to assisted suicide, so to speak, before he is pulled from the brink of death by a pair of survivors. The arrival of survivors, the first he has seen in 3 years, is a shock to Neville and he has a difficult time adjusting to his new found allies. During a particularly dramatic scene, Neville screams at Anna () about the absence of God, as she attempts to talk him into leaving with her for a supposed safe haven in Vermont. The argument ends abruptly, however, when the house is stormed by the infected who have finally traced Neville back to his lair.

While making what will be his last stand, Neville discovers he has finally found the cure he devoted his life to. The final confrontation culminates in Neville’s self sacrifice to save Anna and Ethan, but only after passing on the cure and rediscovering his faith. It is a fairly poignant moment that could have been that much more with a little more development. The point still hits home, however and we are allowed to catch a brief glimpse of the colony Neville’s work made possible.

There are elements of “Legend” that are cliché. Plenty of films have focused on viral outbreaks and zombie filled streets. This film could have easily slipped into the usual post-apocalyptic world that so many of its predecessors have created before it. But the stroke of genius here is that the infected and the fight against them take a back seat to the isolation, the lonely and haunting world in which Neville finds himself. What would you do if you were the only person on earth? What measures would you take to stay sane? Neville sets up mannequins at his usual visits. He watches Tivoed recordings of “Good Morning America.” He talks to and treats Sam like a child, methodically bathing her and forcing her to eat her vegetables. In effect, he does anything that seems “normal” in an effort to remain normal.

Will Smith delivers what is without question the best performance of his spectacular career. In the minds of many, Smith has long been a summer blockbuster kind of actor: a guy who could deliver big money for entertaining yet less than thought provoking films that are never talked about during award season. (See: “Men in Black” and “Independence Day.”) This role could and should push him into the very rare category of actors who can earn both big money and golden statues. It takes a very, VERY talented and versatile actor to stand alone on the screen for the majority of a film and not become annoying or boring. Tom Hanks was nominated for an Oscar for doing just this in “Castaway” though quite frankly, I and many other were both annoyed and bored by Hanks. Smith strikes the perfect chord between vulnerability and strength, both bordering on the breaking point and remaining steadfast in his quest. He is less a flawed hero and more a broken one, a man who expects to succeed, to be the hero he knows the world needs him to be, and yet his loss and his loneliness weighs on him heavily. Smith plays the role perfectly and it is hard to imagine many other actors who could have done the job as effectively.

The direction of Francis Lawrence deserves mention as well. His work to avoid falling into the traps of making an average zombie movie is quite apparent throughout, to the point that I felt he was almost reluctant to move away from Neville’s story of solidarity and into his fight with the infected. It is a social commentary as much as it is an action movie. There are several brilliantly shot scenes, none so powerful as the moment in which Neville must put down his only companion after she is infected. “Old Yeller” has nothing on this scene which is almost too tough to watch for a dog lover like myself. Nonetheless, it firmly drives home the point once more that Neville is completely and utterly alone and further illustrates his brokenness. If I had to complain, I would point out that I was unimpressed by the CGI infected. They are less than inspired and painfully brought back memories of Mr. Hyde in “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” (*Shutter*) I do believe, however, this may have been done in an effort to avoid an “R” rating. A more intense creature would have very likely ensured this. In addition, the film runs short at 100 minutes and there is clearly room for further development. I hope to see a “Director’s Cut” on DVD before too long.

I am in no way insinuating that “Legend” will receive any mention come Oscar season. Film critics have proven that they take themselves far too seriously to truly consider the merits of a comedy or action movie, no matter how deserving they might be. I am insinuating, however, that “Legend” and Smith in particular deserve consideration, if not nomination when the Academy get together in a few months. It is, without question, the best film I have seen this year and far more significant than the average action film.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Top 100 NBA Players 60-41

60. Tyson Chandler, Hornets
A younger Ben Wallace at half the price.

59. Zach Randolph, Knicks
See “Eddy Curry” and anyone else on the Knicks.

58. Peja Stojakovic, Hornets

57. Leandro Barbosa, Suns

56. Ron Artest, Kings
“OVERRATED! *clap clap clap clap clap* OVERRATED!”

55. Danny Granger, Pacers
This guy does everything well.

54. Tayshaun Prince, Pistons
See “Danny Granger”

53. Gerald Wallace, Bobcats
Does a little bit of everything and is one of the most exciting players in the league.

52. Rasheed Wallace, Pistons
Attitude and stupidity have seriously hindered his ability to be the player he should have been.

51. Al Jefferson, Wolves

50. Brandon Roy, Blazers
One of my favorite players in the league and he does everything well.

49. Corey Maggette, Clippers

48. Marcus Camby, Nuggets
Injuries are the only things that have ever held him back.

47. Jason Terry, Mavs
Instant offense off the bench.

46. Kevin Martin, Kings

45. Jason Richardson, Bobcats
One of the more underrated scorers in the history of the NBA.

44. Lamar Odom, Lakers
If Kobe would shut his mouth and take a look around he’d see that Odom is a pretty darn good running mate. Size, speed, offense, rebounding, and even a little defense.

43. Rashard Lewis, Magic

42. Josh Smith, Hawks
Will his attitude hold him back or will he turn into the 5 tool player he could be

41. David West, Hornets
Gets lost in the shuffle of excellent Western Conference power forwards.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Sports Quick Hits 2

1. Michigan Hires Rodriguez
The University of Michigan hired Rich Rodriguez as head football coach this weekend. Rodriguez will be leaving West Virginia University, the school he has led to two BCS games. I have a complex reaction to this signing.

First off, I'm upset Michigan didn't hire Les Miles from LSU because I would have had some SERIOUSLY hot sports opinions on this. From a blogger's perspective, Miles abandoning LSU would have been a dream.

But here's where it gets really complicated for me. There's no question Rodriguez is an excellent coach. In truth, after Miles turned the school down the first time, I'm not sure why Rodriguez wasn't the next choice. But Rodriguez brings with him a very distinct and fairly unique offense which has been coined the Spread Option. It will take YEARS to adapt the program to his brand of offense. I'd be willing to bet not a single player on the Michigan roster has ever played in the Spread Option or anything close. Michigan has a highly recruited, highly talented sophomore quarterback (Ryan Mallet). How he and Rodriguez work together will be a big question. As an Ohio State fan, I'm excited to think the school will likely be out of serious contention for the next 2 to 4 years.

On the other hand, however, if Rodriguez can get through a few tough years, Michigan could be a real force to be reckoned with. No one in the Big 10 runs anything even remotely resembling the Spread Option. That makes Michigan a matchup nightmare each and every week, assuming Rodriguez gets the players he needs. The nation's top high school QB recruit has already said he's considering going to Michigan now to play for Rodriguez. He'll fit the offense like a glove. I have a feeling that if Michigan can suffer through the transition, they'll be an extremely dangerous team before too long.

So here's hoping Ohio State pulls in a title or two before Michigan turns the page.

2. Rory Sabbatini
This weekend Tiger Woods hosted his annual Target World Championship golf tournament, which he ran away with once again. The participants are generally the best 18 or so golfers in the world and I believe are personally invited by Tiger (though the final list is pretty much the top 18 money winners of the year). It's supposed to be a fairly fun, relaxed event as the PGA is out of season right now anyway.

But one golfer decided to take this opportunity to take another shot at the world's best player.

Rory Sabbatini, 6th on the money list, was in last place going into the final round. He trailed Tiger by a whopping 28 strokes. Rather than show up for the final day, however, he disappeared (taking the courtesy car with him) and had his agent phone in a bogus injury notice just before he was supposed to tee off. It would later be discovered that Sabbatini had grabbed a flight to Maui, apparently unable to finish out his debacle of a tournament.

First off, it's pretty poor sportsmanship to just up and quit like that because you are sucking. It's a friendly tournament, there are tons of fans who paid big money to see the best players in the world, and even last place gets you $170,000 bucks.

But more importantly, it was a slap in the face to Tiger Woods. This was Tiger's tournament. He hosts it, he is the face of it. Not showing up for the final round reflects poorly on Tiger. This is the second time Sabbatini has taken a thinly veiled shot at Tiger after earlier this year claiming Tiger was "as beatable as ever."

Far be it from me to judge Rory. If you want to be a jerk, fine. But to quote Jim Croce, "you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger" and you don't piss off the most competitive and dominating player in all of professional sports! Dude! What are you thinking?! As if Tiger wasn't good enough, now he'll be playing with a chip on his shoulder. He'll literally be trying to rip out Sabbatini's heart and drive it 300 yards the next time these two meet up. The odds of Tiger going 4 for 4 in the PGA majors this year just shot up and you have to believe every other player on tour will be looking to "accidentally" hit a few shots Rory's way as a "thank you" for giving Tiger one more reason to pummel the rest of the tour into the ground.

3. Clemens
I've got a full length diatribe on the Mitchell Report in the works but very briefly, let me say that the "shock" so many express over the fact that Roger Clemens has finally been outed for his steroids is absurd to me. The exact same circumstantial that was used to convict Barry Bonds in the court of public opinions was right it front of anyone who wanted to pay attention to it concerning Clemens. The added size, the resurgence late in his career, the amazing ability to avoid injury despite his age. Some will play the race card here and I think that's valid in this case. If Barry was white I'm not sure he would have had the same coverage. The truth of the matter is, however, that the media didn't want to see it with Clemens. While Barry has admittedly been a jerk to the media since day one, Clemens has been a hero to so many in the sports world. But the signs were there had anyone been looking for it. It's a traveshamockery that the steroid craze focused so severely on Barry and ignored his most obvious counterpart, Clemens.

4. Dolphins Win
After starting out 0-13, the Miami Dolphins finally picked up a win Sunday, beating Baltimore 23 to 16 in overtime. Though I have absolutely no love for the Dolphins, I was mildly pleased to see them pull out a win. It's got to be extremely frustrating to go through an entire season knowing you have no chance of winning.

But, it should be noted that not all the glory should go to the Dolphins for this win. A great deal of it should go to Baltimore coach Brian Billick for doing everything he could to lose the game. In overtime the Ravens had third string rookie quarterback Troy Smith running the show because Kyle Boller went out with a concussion. Smith was playing well and had the team moving up the field. Once the Ravens moved into the fringe of field goal range, however, Billick started to play not to lose rather than to win. They ran the ball on dive plays on three consecutive plays, settling for a 43 yard field goal. Now, it should have been made. 43 yards in the NFL on a sunny day should be good. But it's not a given. The team was playing well, Smith was moving the ball, and they were starting to get into a rhythm. It was an IDIOTIC choice by Billick to play for the field goal instead of playing to get the ball in the end zone and it cost his team the game.

In addition, it will probably cost Billick his job. In the last three weeks his team lost because of a mental meltdown against New England, gave up 28 first quarter points en route to a 44-21 shalacking by the Colts, and gave Miami what will likely be their only win of the season. After the decisions he made this weekend, he deserves to be fired and good riddance. But congratulations to the Dolphins are in order. Way to win a game!

5. Weather
Lastly, I just want to thank the blinking weather on the East Coast for ruining my fantasy football season. I built my team around Tom Brady and the Pats and have been ROLLING all season long. I was 12-2 going into the playoffs, with one of the losses coming while the Pats were on a bye week. Unfortunately, the weather in Massachusetts this weekend was that of the North Pole. Snow, rain, wind, sub zero temperatures. I'm pretty sure at least one player lost a hand to frost bite. (I made that up.) As a result, New England, who have probably attempted 10 running plays in the last month, ran the ball a ton of times and Brady completed only 12 passes. No touchdowns for the first time all season. And so, in the fashion I have become accustomed to in fantasy sports, my team was handed a resounding loss by an inferior team. I'm sure next week, when my team plays for 3rd place, Brady will throw for 350 yards and 5 touchdowns. But alas, it will not save the Fighting Ferrets 07.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Snakes

This week I witnessed one of the absolute worst scenes in coaching history. Bobby Petrino, with three games left in the NFL season, up and left his team the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of the night to sign on as the coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. It was a truly classless move, though unfortunately a move that has become all too familiar.

Petrino left the University of Lousville after last season to take his chances in the NFL. He was given a SIZABLE contract, not to mention a pretty talented team that had underachieved the year before. It was a mistake. Everyone knew it was a mistake. College coaches almost always fail in the NFL. It is a completely different game. Yet every year you can expect to see at least one owner offer a college coach the chance and at least one college coach to take the offer.

Things got off to a bad start. What was supposed to be a dream pairing, offensive genius Petrino and athletic FREAK Michael Vick, was knocked off the tracks almost immediately by Vick's arrest and subsequent conviction on animal cruelty charges that will likely keep him out of the league for the next 3 years. What followed was a serious of confrontations and public issues between Petrino and his team. Players criticized him in the media. A leader of the team was cut mid season. The starting quarterback was benched without ever being notified. Petrino failed to lay down the law and gain the respect of his team when a player basically lost a game for the Falcons by drawing back to back personal fouls.

All of this turmoil and failure culminated in a Monday night THRASHING at the hands of the New Orleans Saints. According to sources, before the game Petrino delivered a message to the team in which he talked about not quitting, about sticking together, and finishing the season. Apparently this speech did not pertain to the speaker himself. Less than 24 hours later Petrino informed Falcons owner Arthur Blank that he was leaving for Arkansas and the contract was signed before midnight. At his press conference, Petrino talked about the virtues of Arkansas and how he'd always been a fan of what they do. The truth is, it was the first halfway decent program that called and offered him a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. If Michigan had called first, he'd have talked about how he had always admired Michigan. If it was UCLA, the same thing, and so on and so forth.


Look, I have no problem with Petrino going back to college football. He was in WAY over his head in the NFL and everyone knew it. I believe Blank would have stood by Petrino had he decided to stay but it would have likely ended in Petrino's dismissal within a year or two. My problem is with the guy bailing on the team during the season. Once the going got tough, Petrino got the hell out of Dodge without ever looking back. It was a cowardly, gutless act that, as stated previously, has become common place among college coaches. If he would have waited three more weeks until this abortion of a season was over, he could have walked off free and clear. In truth, the players, the fans, and the owner would have breathed a sigh of relief to be able to move on with a different direction now rather than wait through another year or two of failure. But instead, he Franchione's the team right after a big speech about sticking together and finishing what they started and leaves everyone involved (or uninvolved, like me!) with a bad taste in their mouths.

The big thing here is, how in the world can this guy recruit with any shred of integrity? He will have now coached in three places in two years and has left one chocking on his dust. If Petrino sits down in your living room tomorrow and tells your son what a great program Arkansas is and what great plans he has for your kid, is there any way on God's green earth that you believe him? Could he possibly look you in the eye and say "I'm committed to Arkansas" without conjuring up images of him fleeing from Atlanta? He has lost any and all credibility he may have had, not to mention any the program had. I wish I could be a fly on the wall the first time a coach from a rival SEC school steps into the house of a big time recruit. I can just imagine the conversation: "So who else are you considering? Arkansas, huh? Well you know Petrino won't be there for four years."

The craziest thing about this whole affair is that these big name, big money coaches seem to fail more often than not. Nick Saban bailed on two teams in two years to sign a monster contract at Alabama. Their record this season? 6-6. Dennis Franchoine left Alabama in the middle of the night to sign a big deal with Texas A&M. The result was a five year wallowing in mediocrity and an eventual buyout. With such expectations and obvious coaching talent, why is this the case? Because when you make your bed with a snake, eventually your butt gets bit. Arkansas thinks Petrino is the man for the job and on paper, he looks like a great fit. But if and when this fails and Arkansas is right back in the same spot in four years, or better yet, if it does work and Petrino leaves for an even bigger program in two years, I hope they remember this day and the pain and confusion expressed by everyone associated with the Falcons. They knew what they were getting themselves into. Once a snake, always a snake.

SIDE NOTE: If and when Les Miles bails on LSU for Michigan, expect an acid laced diatribe on this exact subject. Just fair warning.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Heisman Trophy Presentation

Tonight the Downtown Athletic Club will give out the 73rd Heisman Memorial trophy. Four candidates made the trip to New York hoping to be presented with college sports most prestigious honor. The candidates are Florida quarterback Tim Tebow, Arkansas running back Darren McFadden, Hawaii quarterback Colt Brennan, and Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel. What is interesting to me is how unique each of these players are. Tebow scored almost as many touchdowns on the ground as he did through the air and he is essentially a linebacker player quarterback. Brennan is a pocket passers whose stats are inflated by playing in a spread offense. Daniel is a mix between the two, running sometimes, passing others, sometimes even employing the option. McFadden is a prototypical power back but even he at times lines up as a quarterback in Arkansas' "Wildcat" offense. The selection of these four players both highlights the diverse playing field college football has become with more and more complex offenses and the craziness that was this season.

Of these candidates only McFadden as a legitimate Heisman choice at the beginning of the season, with Brennan hanging vaguely on the fringe. Over the course of there year, no fewer than 20 players were in the Heisman conversation, almost all of whom proceeded to play themselves OUT of said conversation. The fact that there were no clear cut favorites for the award should come as no surprise when you consider that upsets and disappointing performances occurred more during this season than any other in recent memory. Only one team (Hawaii) finished without a loss and only two (THE Ohio State University and Kansas) finished with one loss. Every other team, no matter how good, had at least 2 loses and many powerhouse programs had at least 3. It was a crazy year and on any given week any team could beat another. At last count, I believe 12 times this season an unranked team beat a top 5 time. That stat is incredible! Vegas lost some serious money this year. Here's a look at some of the Heisman candidates throughout the year and where they lost their chances.

John David Booty, QB, USC - A preseason favorite, Booty was lackluster throughout the year but lost it with a terrible performance in a loss to Stanford. (Plus, his name is Booty. Do we really want to engrave 'Booty' on the side of the trophy?)
Chad Henne, QB, Michigan - His Heisman season was over before if began when Michigan lost it's opening game to Division 1-AA Appalachian State. Also suffered numerous injuries.
Mike Hart, RB, Michigan - Also lost his shot with the loss to App State but even still might have had a chance if not for a ton of injuries and the no show he pulled against OSU.
Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville - Put up great stats all year but his team, ranked in the preseason top 10, had to make a desperate comeback to finish at .500 for the year.
Andre Woodson, QB, Kentucky - At one time Woodson may have been the favorite. His stats were ridiculous and he was lead Kentucky to some of the biggest wins in school history. He faded down the stretch, however, and threw too many interceptions that eventually killed his team.
Todd Boeckman, QB, OSU - It was more by default than anything else that Boeckman's name made it into the Heisman conversation, but two straight miserable performances against Michigan State and Illinois put him back in his rightful place.
Todd Reesing, QB, Kansas - Never quite got the attention he deserved because no one thought Kansas was for real. He struggled in his first taste of real national exposure (playing against Mizzou) and that game probably put Daniel into the race and eliminated Reesing.
Pat White, QB, West Virginia - If WVU beat Pittsburgh on the last week of the season, White is probably in New York tonight. As it was, he struggled BADLY in the two loses and once against demonstrated that you cannot win on the big stage with a QB who can't throw the ball.
Graham Harrell, QB, Texas Tech - A good game on national TV against Missouri could have kept Harrell in the conversation. As it was, he had the worst game of the season throwing 4 interceptions and his fate was sealed.
Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU - It would have been near impossible for a non-skill position player to win the award even in a down year and Dorsey had a long stretch of games in which he simply did not perform.
Dennis Dixon, QB, Oregon - Without question the saddest story in college football. Dixon was almost certainly the favorite until a gruesome injury that was later diagnosed as a torn ACL. Oregon crumbled without Dixon, demonstrating just how important he was to the team, but unfortunately missing games almost always eliminates you from award contention.

That leaves four standing. If I had a vote I would have cast my ballot this way:
1. Darren McFadden
2. Tim Tebow
3. Dennis Dixon

When it's all said and done I believe Tebow will be the winner and I can't really argue that. The stats he put up are amazing. I personally think McFadden was more impressive considering he played with none of the weapons Tebow had, split the carries with Felix Jones, and STILL managed to put up ridiculous numbers. In truth, there is a string case to be made for Daniel as well. He was without question THE leader of the Tigers this year and played without the talent that Tebow had around him. Brennan is the only candidate who I would have a problem with were he to come away as the winner. It's not that I don't think Brennan is a great player because he is. My problem is that he seems to be getting a lot of credit while CLEARLY running a system that inflates the numbers while also playing against sub-par competition. I do not understand how Brennan, playing against the Louisiana Techs of the world, is deserving of recognition when the same people who will be handing out this recognition consider Graham Harrell and his system-inflated numbers against REAL competition to be undeserving. I'm not going to argue that Harrell should be in New York tonight but it seems inconsistent to me to discredit the numbers of a Tech QB because "it's a system" while heaping praise on a guy putting up similar numbers against drastically lesser competition.

Regardless, the announcement of the Heisman is one of the bigger moments of the sports year and I am extremely interested to see who gets the trophy.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Internet Gold Part 2


1. "Firefly" Essay
I found a great essay about the cult hit TV show "Firefly" today and thought I would share. This is an excerpt from the upcoming collection of essays "Serenity Found." It is written by the show's star, Nathan Fillion, who played Malcolm Reynolds, one of the truly brilliant and complex characters to grace the small screen in the last 20 years. For the uneducated of you, "Firefly" was a short lived sci-fi drama that Fox cancelled in 2002 despite the objections of a large and outspoken fan base. The show accomplished what "Star Trek" originally set out to do, establishing a world all its own that blended science fiction with the old west. Characters flew in giant star ships but often rode horses when on land. "Firefly" was never given a chance by the morons at Fox (the very same morons who couldn't figure out how to use "Arrested Development") and ended after only 14 episodes. Never has a cancelled show drawn so much attention as the possibility of a second season has been rumored ever since, though more because of the rabid fans thirst to know more than a studio's actual desire to create said second season. The complete series can be purchased on DVD and is well worth whatever it costs. However, I must warn you that because of the abrupt end to the show, the set will leave you wanting more as it becomes apparent that the story Wheldon intended to unviel was only beginning to be told. The movie, "Serenity," offers a tidy wrap up to the series but in no way answers the questions the final few episodes of the series asked. Anyway, I found this essay by Fillion to be very interesting as it gives voice to the feelings so many spurned "Firefly" fans have harbored since the show's untimely death.

I, Malcolm

2. Peyton Manning
Sometimes Peyton borders on annoying and overexposure. However, these "Priceless Peptalks From Peyton Manning" are genius. Here's the latest.



3. Giant Rabbit
I came across an article about a 9 foot long giant spitting cobra found in Kenya. The article also had pictures of some other ridiculously oversized animals found in recent years. This is a rabbit. Now, this may be fake, it kind of looks fake, but still, this is a RABBIT! If Monty Python only knew.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Top 100 NBA Players 80-61

80. Eddy Curry, Knicks
On talent alone he should be in the top 20. Add in his brain and he probably should be lower on this list.

79. Stephen Jackson, Warriors
See “Eddy Curry.”

78. Andre Miller, 76ers
One of the most underrated players in the league.

77. Brad Miller, Kings

76. Chris Kaman, Clippers

75. Boris Diaw, Suns

74. Kevin Durant, Sonics
The only rookie to make the list he could be in the top 25 by the end of the season.

73. Jamal Crawford, Knicks
The best thing about him: he’s never seen a shot he wouldn’t take. The worst thing about him: he’s never seen a shot he wouldn’t take.

72. Raymond Felton, Bobcats

71. Jameer Nelson, Magic

70. TJ Ford, Raptors

69. Andrei Kirilenko, Jazz
The equivalent of a “Five Tool” player in baseball.

68. Mo Williams, Bucks

67. Devin Harris, Mavs
Other than Kevin Durant, Harris is most likely to jump into the top 30 players in the league by seasons end. He’s Tony Parker in the making.

66. Chris Wilcox, Sonics
Finally putting it together consistently.

65. Richard Jefferson, Nets

64. Zydrunas Illguaskas, Cavs

63. Ben Wallace, Bulls
He’s never had any offense and now his reputation as a defender is starting to waver.

62. Kirk Hinrich, Bulls
I go back and forth between thinking this guy is underrated and thinking he’s overrated.

61. Ben Gordon, Bulls
John Starks without the intensity or defense.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Baltimore Ravens

Last night I, and about a billion other football fans, saw the greatness of Tom Brady on full display. The Patriots, as chronicled earlier in this blog, are chasing history, trying to become only the second team in NFL history to finish the season without a loss. Last night's Monday Night Football game against the Baltimore Ravens turned out to be their toughest test yet. They trailed for the majority of the game and even the unflappable Tom Brady looked a little flapped as the Ravens threw different look after different look and blitz after blitz at him. In the end, the Patriots marched 80 yards, converting on multiple third and long situations and one fourth and long, and scored a game winning touchdown with 40 seconds left. Brady, as always, never looked shaken. Even on 4th and 6, the game on the line, the guy was the essence of cool and calm. The greatness of Brady and the Pats is not the point of this post, however.

No, the purpose of this thread is to call out the idiocy of the Baltimore Ravens.

The meltdown started with the Pats around the 50 yard line. After a long reception by Ben Watson, the Ravens shut the Patriots down on 1st, 2nd, and 3rd down. On a crucial 4th and 1 the Ravens poured into the backfield and stopped the Pats from converting, essentially ending the game, but the play had to be repeated because defensive coordinator Rex Ryan got cold feet and called the timeout miliseconds before the snap. The Pats ended up getting the first down and continued marching down the field. Then on 3rd down, defensive back Samari Rolle tackled Pats receiver Randy Moss away from the play. Penalty, 1st down. Again, the Ravens made a stand and put the Patriots in a 4th down situation. Brady throws to the end zone, no catch, game over. But wait, we have a penalty. Replay clearly showed a hold against the intended receiver. 1st down and goal from the 8. Two plays later, Brady finds Jabar Gaffney in the back of the end zone for the go ahead touch down.

But wait, there's more.

The game IS NOT over. About 40 seconds remained on the clock, the Ravens still had a timeout, and they were only down three points. A decent return and a couple of big plays and the Ravens can kick a field goal to send the game to overtime. It's not likely but it's possible. The only problem is, Ravens linebacker Bart Scott absolutely loses it in the endzone following the touchdown. Not only is he called for unsportsmanlike conduct for barrating the official who threw the previous (well deserved) flag. To add stupidity to uncontrolled emotion, Scott then picked up the flag and chucked it into the stands. Add another penalty. To make himself look even more like a jackass, he then goes into the whole "hold me back or I'm going to kill this guy" routine perfected by NBA players and had to be restrained by teammates. After an offside penalty on the extra point attempt by Ed Reed, the Pats kicked off from the Baltimore 35. Just to give a little perspective on that, the ball would have normally been kicked from the Patriot 30. 35 yards in penalties were assessed because the THUGS that play defense for Baltimore couldn't keep their composure. The Patriots booted the ball into the stands thereby negating any return the Ravens might have had and essentially ending the game. To make it worse, on the final play of the game, Ravens QB Kyle Boller threw a BOMB that was caught at the 2 yard line and was almost taken into the end zone. Obviously things might have changed had the Pats been in the end zone instead of outside the goal line, but an extra 5 or 10 yards on a return might have made a big difference.



After the game I got exactly what I expected from the Ravens: pissing and moaning about the refs. Dozens of quotes about how the NFL wants the Patriots to go undefeated and how they were screwed out of their win. Samari Rolle complaining about how the ref called him a "boy" and how that disrespect led to Scott's indefensible outburst. (It should be noted that the connotations surrounding the word "boy" for a black man are not lost on this writer. The ref in question, however, is black. Nuff said.) Rolle went on to say that he is "a man with a wife and three kids...I ain't no boy." Another player commented that the ref in question didn't know anything about football because he'd never played, an argument that hasn't ever held a drop of water. (It should be noted that the ref in question spent 6 years in the NFL. Nuff said.) Complaint after complaint emmenated from Baltimore today and I'm sure will continue to be heard for the next week as the NFL decides who to fine.

Here's the rub, though. No matter how bad the refs are, no matter how badly you think you're getting screwed over, you HAVE to keep your composure. After the game you can say whatever you want. You can call over every camera in the room, cuss a blue stream, talk about the unjustices of the league, and rip your clothes in protest. You are free to do that, as long as you accept the fine that is sure to come. But DURING the game, especially a game of this magnitude, ESPECIALLY down the stretch, you just can't go throwing the officials flag into the stands and threatening to go Hannibal Lecter on the man's face. Disrespect or not, shut your hole and play the game until the last second ticks off.

Two more quick points on this, because I'm disgusted at the lack of composure the Ravens displayed. First of all, to get so ticked off about a ref calling you "boy" is pretty hypocritical. The Ravens, as noted above, are thugs and they talk and talk and talk the entire game, every game, and this one was no exception. What kind of trash do you think Rolle was yelling at Randy Moss throughout the game? "I intend to keep you from catching passes tonight, though I respect your ability and find you to be a very talented and entertaining opponent." Somehow I doubt that was what Rolle was saying. You can bet that he dropped any derrogatory term he could think of, including the n-bomb, words that make "boy" sound respectful. Second, if you morons want to blame someone for this loss (because obviously it couldn't be your own fault for letting the Pats drive 80 yards in 3 minutes), look no further than your coach. If Ryan would have kept his mouth shut and trusted his veteran and star filled defense to make a stand, all of this would have been a moot point. The Ravens could have essentially run the clock to zero and sent the Pats packing with their first loss of the year. It was a stupid decision by the coach and it had a huge impact on the game. If you really have to complain about someone, Ryan is the obvious choice.

I'm no Patriots fan. Brady is my fantasy QB and I want to see him put up stats but I could really care less if they win or not. All I ever hope for on Monday Night is a good game. But the classless display that the Ravens put on last night only served to reinforce the feeling of disdain I have for the Ravens, who more than any other team in the league, exemplify the thug lifestyle that has overtaken the NFL and the NBA. And sadly, these actions ruined what was about a thrilling a Monday night game as I have seen in some time.

"Into The Wild"


I just finished reading a book called “Into the Wild” by Jon Krakauer. Though it has been sitting on my book shelf for the better part of 4 years, I haven’t actually taken the time to read it until now. The book and its subject matter have been brought to the forefront recently because it has been turned into a movie. Directed by Sean Penn, I heard great things about the film but missed it due to its limited release. Anyway, I was searching for something to read and came across “Wild” and decided it deserved my attention, if for no other reason than to have some base of knowledge before seeing the movie.

“Wild” is the story of Chris McCandless, also known as “Alex Supertramp,” and his Alaskan adventure that ultimately took his life. Chris was an extremely bright but extremely complex kid who, in 1990, left Atlanta after his college graduation and spent the better part of two years wandering the Western Frontier. Chris spent time kayaking to the Gulf of Mexico, working in a silo in North Dakota, and many nights camping in the deserts of Utah and Nevada. Chris was an idealist who was quick not only to talk about his ideologies but also to live them out. He willingly lived a life of total poverty, even burning the cash he had with him on one occasion as an illustration of his devotion. Early in his travels he abandoned his car and the majority of his time on the road was spent either hitchhiking or just walking. He often worked but never for very long and anytime he felt his employer might want him to stick around a little longer he was sure to be gone within a week. He was never comfortable unless he was on the move and making it on his own.

Chris came from a wealthy background and a family that seemed, at least to his high school friends, to be fairly normal. The typical conflict between teenager and parents was evident but nothing so out of the ordinary as to push a man into total solitude. Yet when Chris began his trip “into the wild,” he neither notified his family nor kept in touch while traveling. In fact, the first time his parents were even aware of his whereabouts following his college graduation was when they were called to identify his body. Not once in two years did Chris write or call home, despite the fact that he sent numerous postcards to those he met on his journey. A deep rift existed between Chris and his family, a rift that his parents never understood or saw and the writer can only vaguely uncover.

On his final expedition, Chris planned and almost successfully completed a solo campaign into the heart of the Alaskan wilderness. Packing barely more than a ten pound bag of rice, a .22 caliber rifle, a camera, and a bag of books, Chris trekked down a hunting trail in April, with plans to stay through the summer. His intention was “to find himself,” a cliché that is often used loosely but one which Chris truly sought after. In September his body, emaciated and decomposing, was found by the first group of hunters to pass through the area. Chris had died some three weeks prior. Sadly, journal entries indicate that Chris had finally found himself and was ready to move back into society. Say what you will about the ultimate outcome of his excursion but the trip served its purpose and allowed Chris to find the peace he desired.



Initially Chris’ story was written up by Krakauer in Outside magazine, an article that would illicit a great deal of interest and comment. Some wrote in to wish condolences to the McCandless family, some to praise Chris’ brave lifestyle, and some to condemn him as an arrogant, incompetent fool who underestimated the perils of the wild. After finishing the piece and reading some of the feedback, Krakauer was unable to put the matter to rest. An avid outdoorsman and climber, he identified with Chris and launched an extensive investigation into Chris’ life and subsequently, his death. Krakauer spent more than a year gathering evidence, talking to those Chris came in contact with on the road, and digging into the life of the McCandless family (with their help, it should be noted). His discoveries and believes make up the frame for “Into the Wild.”

It is hard to describe “Wild” as a great book. It mixes pieces of Chris’ travels with the author’s own story and the precise, critical style of the book clearly indicated the journalistic background of Krakauer. The research done for this book is obviously extensive but in many instances, it reads like a long newspaper article rather than a biography. The story, however, is one of great interest and deserving of the attention the book has brought to it.

Chris McCandless is an extremely interesting “character.” The author does an excellent job of presenting his actions and his personality in a factual manner, allowing the reader to decide for himself whether or not Chris is a hero of sorts or a lunatic (or maybe somewhere in between). His rejection of almost everything civilization has to offer, his desire to live off the land, and his complete and total conviction in everything he did are qualities that many can respect, if not embrace. And yet the virtual abandonment of his family, his mood swings, and his seeming lack of preparation lead some to consider him another angry youth, possibly suicidal or possibly suffering from a mental disease. Krakauer does a masterful job of presenting the Chris in an honest and sometimes unflattering fashion and presents the reader with a question: Do you connect with and relate to Chris McCandless or not? The answer to this question, I believe, will ultimately be reflected in your view of Chris. If you cannot connect with him, you are likely to consider him either crazy or stupid, someone who was either seriously let down by our health system or got what he deserved. But if you can connect with him, you are likely to view Chris as an icon, a man who lived out his beliefs with reckless abandon, with little regard to the thoughts of society or even his own life.

Personally, I relate to and connect with Chris. To leave it all behind, to separate oneself from society, to be one with nature, and maybe most importantly, to truly delve into and uncover oneself holds a great deal of appeal to me and to many other people, especially males in the same age range as Chris. There is real appeal, for me at least, in hiking down a little used trail, killing my own food, and living in an abandoned bus-turned-cabin. Don’t misunderstand. I think Chris’ expedition can be (and has been) over romanticized. In many ways he is the Kurt Cobain of the extreme sports world. To trudge off into the wilderness sans map and proper gear without letting anyone know where you will be in case things go wrong is at best ignorant and at worst moronic. In truth, I don’t think anyone can unquestionably say that Chris wasn’t suffering from some sort of mental illness. Schizophrenia often displays itself in males around the age that Chris was when his behavior became more erratic. At the very least his mood swings lend themselves to the possibility of bipolar disorder. Yet there is value in the lifestyle which Chris professed and however misguided, a man who truly lives out the life he professes is a rarity in our world of two faced and hypocritical idealists who may talk about a life as one with nature but do not have the balls to spend a week without an air conditioner. Much like Chris himself, his story is one of great complexity that is worthy of being told, regardless of ones beliefs about the man himself.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Review for "Dan In Real Life"


A note to all you Steve Carell fans out there, especially the large group of 14 year olds who happened to be in the same theater as I was: “Dan in Real Life” does not contain the raunchy humor of “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” the outrageous, laugh-out-loud humor of “Anchorman,” or the over the top yet subtle humor of “The Office.” If you want to see Steve Carell at his wacky best, go rent “Bruce Almighty” or set your Tivo for Thursday, 9/8 Central and enjoy the greatness of Michael Scott. If, however, you can handle Steve Carell in a serious role, “Dan” is the film for you.

“Dan” is the story of a parenting advice columnist Dan Burns and his three girls, ranging in age from 6 to 16. The Burns have a meager lifestyle, a cluttered house, an old station wagon, and a great deal of conflict and turmoil. Dan’s wife and mother of his children died three years previously which lends itself to a number of problems. At first glance the most glaring issue is the difficulty Dan has in dealing with his daughters, particularly the middle child Cara, perfectly played by Brittany Robertson. Understandably, Dan is a bit over protective and seems to have difficulty allowing for the growth of his children. Below the surface and beautifully illustrated with care and precision throughout the movie, Dan also struggles with moving on with his life and ultimately, missing his wife.

The film centers around a family reunion of sorts which Dan and his girls attend, along with Dan’s parents, his three siblings, and their families. The house is packed and because Mitch, his younger brother (Dane Cook), is expecting his girlfriend to stay with the family, Dan is relegated to sleeping in the laundry room, running dryer and all. This may seem a small point of contention but the sleeping arrangement serves to illustrate Dan’s loneliness and awkwardness within the family in a “subtle, no obvious, no subtle” kind of way.

On a morning trip into town, Dan runs into Marie (Juliette Binoche) and the two immediately hit it off. In this scene the audience gets a true feel for how Dan might have been in a past life: shy but charming, unsure but carefree. Upon returning home he begins to tell his brothers about the mysterious woman in the book shop in a boyish, giggly way until he is interrupted by the introduction of his brother’s girlfriend, Marie. An awkward exchange follows and Dan immediately shrinks back into his shell. Throughout the weekend Dan and Marie come only closer to each other all the while attempting to not only keep their secret but also, for Dan in particular, to ignore the new found feelings. This tension culminates in Dan singing during the family talent show, something he has not done since the death of his wife. Confrontations ensue and after a truly touching meeting with his kids, Dan is able to grasp hold of the happy ending he so badly deserves.

Most of the humor of the film is based in sadness and loss and as such, “Dan In Real Life” is not a true romantic comedy it may be perceived as. There are a few “laugh out loud” moments but even these, I believe, hold a deeper meaning than a cheap laugh (though the “murder of love” scene is “slap your knee” hilarious). Even a dance scene that would be sure to break the audience into hysterics in most films comes across as awkward, even sad. Yet just as “Dan” is not an inherently funny movie, neither is it inherently sad. The film, and more importantly its characters, never dwell on the loss for long enough to drift into the dismal, depressing affair that so many dramas of the same ilk often become.

Steve Carell gives (are you ready for this?) an Oscar caliber performance, though it will undoubtedly be dismissed as insignificant by the idiots of the Academy. As big a fan of his as I am, I could have never imagined Carell could nail this role as well as he did. The viewer can see the fear and the hurt in Dan’s eyes but that he doesn’t want to allow the loss to control him. He neither ignores the past nor dwells on it. The love that Dan and his wife shared for each other is vividly displayed throughout the film despite the fact that she never once appears on screen. I challenge anyone to watch the talent show scene without FEELING the loss in Dan’s voice and mannerisms. There are other fine performances in this film. Binoche is excellent as always and Dane Cook is rapidly becoming a legitimate supporting actor of note with his work here and in this summer’s “Mr. Brooks.” But this film belongs to Steve Carell and should serve as a showcase of ability for anyone paying attention.

“Dan” is one of the more real and authentic films which I have ever seen. Dan’s (and his children’s) vulnerability allows the film to display loss, humor, hurt, love, and heartache in ways that are rarely shown. It is less a work of art and more a work of LIFE that makes a far stronger impression than most of the “touching” or “real” movies that Hollywood has put out recently. I hope that the Academy gives “Dan” the opportunity it deserves and before it gets bumped out of theaters, I would encourage anyone to see this film. (Anyone, that is, except the group of 14 year olds that were in my theater. You should probably go see “Fred Claus” instead. Trust me, many more fart jokes in that one.)

Jimmy V

The last week has been "Jimmy V Week" on ESPN and all of its branches. It didn't seem right to go through the whole week without watching and posting Jimmy's 1993 ESPY speech. This brings tears to my eyes each and every time and may be the most powerful speech made during my lifetime. If nothing else, watch the final 4:30 minutes of this.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Internet Gold

I rarely have or spend the time to surf the internet. On occasion, however, I have nothing to do (such as this weekend) and I go looking for internet gold. Here are some of the things you've missed.

1. Allen Iverson Article - a great piece about the maturity of the great Allen Iverson.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=adande_ja&page=Iverson-071130&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos1

2. Bill Simmons Takes His Daughter To Her First NBA Game
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/071126&sportCat=nba

3. Tony Romo Mocks the Ref



4. Darth Vader Plays the Blues



5. Is There Anything Funnier Than Someone Getting Knocked Down?



6. I'm not the only one who misses "Arrested Development"!